There is probably not a single parent in America who has missed the fact that it is difficult to educate a drug-free child to be an adult. The environment makes it difficult, because so many drugs are in the illegal market and new distribution methods make it so much easier to buy them. And children are having a hard time just because they lie about their drug use.
Every young person who succumbs to temptation and reaches for alcohol or drugs for the first time has his own reasons. They could feel grown-up or more adventurous. They may feel that their own lives are boring, or they may reject the restrictions that the school, teachers, and parents impose on them to feel rebellious. Maybe they feel socially uneasy or have no self-confidence and think that alcohol or drugs help them to relax. There are so many reasons. The key point here is that a teenage or a young adult who gives in for the first time now has a secret to keep.
There are parents here and there who do not care about their child's drug use, but on the whole, parents who find that their child has started taking drugs or drinking when they are minors are trying to do something about it. They may not know what to do or say, but they will do their best. Their good intentions can quickly be derailed when they believe that the lies their child is telling throw them off track.
Surveys confirm that many adolescents are also lying in a confidential interview about their drug use. And even if they know that there is an analysis of the drug deposits in their hair to confirm their answers. In a Wayne State University survey of vulnerable adolescents, out of 211 adolescents who completed a survey on past cocaine use and provided a hair sample, only two adolescents admitted to cocaine use. But 69 had traces of cocaine in her hair.
What do teenagers say to hide drug use?
Here are some of the most common lies that teenagers and young adults tell when parents ask them to drink or use drugs. This is your heads-up, so you will not be surprised and derailed by these very common lies.
Child smells like marijuana: "This guy smoked pot. I asked him to quit, but he did not want to. I did not drive home, so I had to stay. "
Children's eyes are red from smoking marijuana: "I was in a friend's pool and there was a lot of chlorine in it."
Parents find drugs in the child's backpack: "It's not mine. My friend asked me to wear it for him."
A bottle of cold medicine is missing: "I felt sick, so I took something" or "I gave something to my friend who had a bad cough".
He or she needs more money than usual: "My wallet was stolen" or something like "I broke my friend's camera and had to pay for it." these.)
Every child: "I would never take drugs. I hate drugs. You taught me that. "
Every child: "I only did it once" or "it was the first time".
Every child: "I would never drive with a drunk / tall driver. You talked to me about it. "(A 2016 study found, however, that about 33% of young adults who had just graduated from high school had traveled with a disabled driver at their own age or older.)
The difficulty is that any of these statements MIGHT be true. At this point, parents have to make very hard decisions about how to proceed.
Forwarding Parental Inquiries
Another tactic to prevent parents from finding out about their drug use or alcohol consumption is to divert their parents' attention. Parents could hear such exclamations:
"You have invaded my privacy! I will never trust you again. (Otherwise, the child may leave the door locked and refuse to let anyone in his room.)
"So you drink, how can you tell me not to drink?"
"You are so terrible that you do not trust me, I hate you!"
When should action be taken?
The decision to take further action is difficult for most parents. If the lies are plausible (and they are usually), parents must look for signs that the adolescent is abusing substances. Unfortunately, it takes a while for most of these signs to appear. However, if a parent sees any of the following signs along with other specific clues such as drugs or paraphernalia, he must understand that the stories he's told are probably lies.
Change social groups from a group that works well, is productive, and gets good grades, to a group that seems isolated and dissatisfied
Refusal to attend the usual family, holiday or school events
Discontinuation of academic, social or sporting activities that were previously enjoyed
Healthily or emotionally lose ground
Giving up spiritual practices that were previously enjoyed
Be absent in unusual patterns from home
No more money
Heals consistently arms and legs, even in warm weather
Lose weight or gain weight
Appear unusually tired or unnaturally animated
Laughing, crying or other unusual emotional reactions
Get many infections or diseases
Grades, school or work performance suffer
Class reduction or no-show at work or other obligations
An apology for failures, problems or illnesses
When drug or alcohol use becomes a habit
Here's an important point that you should understand. When the consumption of drugs or alcohol becomes habitual, the dampening effect of drugs and drinks leads to a moral decline and a change of personality. Each parent of an addicted child sees his or her child change in a confusing way. It's common for them to exclaim, "He's become someone I do not know anymore."
This change is accompanied by lies. It is very safe to say that every addict has left a trail of lies. If you suspect ordinary drug use or alcohol use, you will have to reckon with the lies if you want to save the person you love. After many years of loving and trusting this person, it is a very difficult decision for many people. But if you want to prevent a person's drug use from happening, you must do so.
What should you do?
If you use evidence and your best judgment and find that drugs are being used, you will do your best to prevent yourself from getting angry and annoying the young for months on end. You need to restore the trust between yourself and your child. Until this confidence grows, you may need to consider the strategies of some parents.
Restricting their ability to spend money on drugs by buying items the child needs instead of giving them money
No valuable gifts that could be sold or exchanged for drugs
Monitor the use of debit or credit cards
Monitoring of telephone or computer usage
Ask the young person to attend according to a specific schedule
Random drug tests
Training with experienced, experienced drug prevention specialists
Observation of academic performance
Help the child develop specific goals that are of interest to him, and encourage and support their progress toward those goals
Encourage the child to share stress and problems in a safe, non-critical atmosphere
If a child is under the age of 18, it is much easier to impose restrictions and monitor measures. After the age of 18, you need to focus more on trust, communication and education. If this young adult still receives financial support, a parent can use it.
When families take action to save an addicted person's life, they are prepared to impose strict restrictions on their loved ones: no longer provide financial help, legal assistance, mobile phones or any other help they have received. Some of these measures, taken before the onset of addiction, can also help prevent your loved one from becoming addicted.
Parenting is not easy. There is no simple rule book for this activity. Parents need to be guided by their hearts and minds and refuse to be naive. There are too many medications in circulation and the young often understand too little about the dangers.
Tested by Claire Pinelli, ICAADC, CCS, LADC, RAS, MCAP